Even though I am able to rest increasingly with all passing data, thoughts, emotions, circumstances, events etc. there has been an underlying doldrum sort of feeling that had no thought, emotions or circumstances that I was aware of, just a dull down suble feeling.
Today I awoke with the most delightful clarity, soft, warm, quiet and still. Oh boy I like this data!!! And as I walked the beach it came to me that I have this underlying tension about my life, my future, my circumstance. I still think I need to manage these things, pay attention to my preferences because I still believe that there is perhaps a situation or circumstance that would make me down right misserable and so I have to manage my life so that the best happens and not the worst.
And then I realized that I am increasingly enjoying all things, all circustances, situations, feeling, thoughts etc, that all these pov have truth value that is powerful when I don't indulge, avoid or replace any of them.
And that perhaps I could try living without this underlying need to hold my daily life into a 'positive,desired' lifestyle, that perhaps I could just let that be what ever it is going to be. Life changes.....constantly, subtlely, suddenly.....life changes, that is the one constant:change. And in clarity I am always well, I am increasingly proving this to myself that circumstances, situations, thoughts and feeling that have in the past just made me miserable are now hardly even a bump in the road. And my reliance on this new identity of wide open awareness/intellegence is increasing slowly as I continue to rely on the four mainstays, my teacher, the teaching in the calls and the downloads, the communtiy of the calls and gatherings and then the all powerfull short moment.
The trick is that I can do nothing to help myself with this, all I can do is stay committed to this simple practice with its supports and algorythms and everything will take place in its own time.
so on i go with my normal saturday
love you all
Today I awoke with the most delightful clarity, soft, warm, quiet and still. Oh boy I like this data!!! And as I walked the beach it came to me that I have this underlying tension about my life, my future, my circumstance. I still think I need to manage these things, pay attention to my preferences because I still believe that there is perhaps a situation or circumstance that would make me down right misserable and so I have to manage my life so that the best happens and not the worst.
And then I realized that I am increasingly enjoying all things, all circustances, situations, feeling, thoughts etc, that all these pov have truth value that is powerful when I don't indulge, avoid or replace any of them.
And that perhaps I could try living without this underlying need to hold my daily life into a 'positive,desired' lifestyle, that perhaps I could just let that be what ever it is going to be. Life changes.....constantly, subtlely, suddenly.....life changes, that is the one constant:change. And in clarity I am always well, I am increasingly proving this to myself that circumstances, situations, thoughts and feeling that have in the past just made me miserable are now hardly even a bump in the road. And my reliance on this new identity of wide open awareness/intellegence is increasing slowly as I continue to rely on the four mainstays, my teacher, the teaching in the calls and the downloads, the communtiy of the calls and gatherings and then the all powerfull short moment.
The trick is that I can do nothing to help myself with this, all I can do is stay committed to this simple practice with its supports and algorythms and everything will take place in its own time.
so on i go with my normal saturday
love you all
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