oh boy,
do I see myself with clearer vision
what a sight!!!
My dear friend, Marina, who is also in process with Katie Byron work right now summed it up so appropriately...That she had always seen me as kind of pathetic... I loved it! The deep caring of her honest truth nourished and strengthened my spirit.
What a relief to just start to come clean about my self and have others coming clean also.
I see my life has become, maybe always has been, consumed by push, rush, panic, frustration and resistance.
I am almost always pushing myself to do more, get more done, get things more perfect.
I rush through one thing to get to the next thing, never fully allowing the moment to be as it is.
I get frustrated when things and people don't comply with my agenda because I got things I want done and life keeps presenting obstacles to my designed outcomes.
I panic when I perceive something is an oops.
I am such a pain in the ass to live with.
I resist that my life is my life. I resist my circumstances.
And really, I haven't liked myself very much
And really, I have been covering up allot of my discontent with basic culturally acceptable bullshit
Not so long ago I was concerned who might read these words on my blog and see through me, but , really, I can't hold any shield up in front of myself any more.
I am becoming all of who I am and there is no me
I am as much all of it as I am none of it
holy!
pretty freeing.
do I see myself with clearer vision
what a sight!!!
My dear friend, Marina, who is also in process with Katie Byron work right now summed it up so appropriately...That she had always seen me as kind of pathetic... I loved it! The deep caring of her honest truth nourished and strengthened my spirit.
What a relief to just start to come clean about my self and have others coming clean also.
I see my life has become, maybe always has been, consumed by push, rush, panic, frustration and resistance.
I am almost always pushing myself to do more, get more done, get things more perfect.
I rush through one thing to get to the next thing, never fully allowing the moment to be as it is.
I get frustrated when things and people don't comply with my agenda because I got things I want done and life keeps presenting obstacles to my designed outcomes.
I panic when I perceive something is an oops.
I am such a pain in the ass to live with.
I resist that my life is my life. I resist my circumstances.
And really, I haven't liked myself very much
And really, I have been covering up allot of my discontent with basic culturally acceptable bullshit
Not so long ago I was concerned who might read these words on my blog and see through me, but , really, I can't hold any shield up in front of myself any more.
I am becoming all of who I am and there is no me
I am as much all of it as I am none of it
holy!
pretty freeing.
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