Resting
Relying on clarity
I still do not totally get that 'all' is clairty
Like this morning I have feelings of distuption in my life, disorder, unease, tiredness
I have some judgement about this isn't as good as when I wake up feeling like a little kid, full of delight and wonder. And even though I see there is a preference, probably allways will be, I am not disturpted by these feelings, I actually find them quite engaging, intriquing. I don't have a need to push them away or run to starbucks and change the feelings to something else. I feel much more fine just allowing them to be here as long as they stick around. There is a soothing feeling inside the feelings of discontent that was certainly never there before. Before I would have fussed over trying to 'fix' these feelings and get to some 'better' feelings and just indulged them by being in a bad mood or antidoted them by going to starbucks etc. These 'negative' points of view do not seem to disturb my enjoyment of the morning or the day.
I know I am in process with this practice that is really a non practice because there is nothing to practice,just rest in the natural state of being human. I am still distracted by some points of view and I can imagine that is where my energy has gone this morning. Its like a computer that is running programs in the background and it slows my working speed down because my CPU is being used to run these darn programs. In order to clarify them I must just allow them to be and as I rely on clairty rather than relying on the POV, they will clarify and then become much less noticable. I will loose my intrique with them and they will not require energy to run anymore. That is where I am headed and even though that is present now, my recognition of this is just developing.
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