Well, what a data filled journey I have been on the past few days.
Arriving in India with the whole family, son (21) with ADD, anxiety disorder and sleep issues...and...detoxing from pot use.
Arriving in Delhi, dealing with traveling issues that seem inevitable, has brought some benefit to us all in learning how to really pull together with difficulties.
I notice worry, stress unease and unhappy .... ness, that is uncomfortable. A heavy feeling in body. And this morning I realized that I am so 'full on' in resistance to my life as it is. There is a deepness, out of daily awareness, that is fighting with life as it is! My life as it appears to me.
There is no way to just stop this. I must let it be. For as long as it is. Allow it. Honour it. Embrace it. And when it is finished it will be finished. I have no attachment to the relief that I long for. Relief from this clinging that I am, at present. I wish it to appear out of the underground of my being and be an equal part of my daily life.
"RESISTANCE!!!! I WELCOME YOU, COME FORTH, PARTAKE IN THE AWARENESS OF MY LIFE AS IT IS."
As I look out on a smokey Delhi morning I see a run down half built structure. Somehow it seems a kin to myself this morning. I cry for the incompleteness , the separation from the wholeness that I see. All that seems real is what is within the five senses of my human awareness, seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting. That is India. Assaulting all senses vigorously. That is what I love about India. And inside all the assault is a stillness beyond my knowing in America
Arriving in India with the whole family, son (21) with ADD, anxiety disorder and sleep issues...and...detoxing from pot use.
Arriving in Delhi, dealing with traveling issues that seem inevitable, has brought some benefit to us all in learning how to really pull together with difficulties.
I notice worry, stress unease and unhappy .... ness, that is uncomfortable. A heavy feeling in body. And this morning I realized that I am so 'full on' in resistance to my life as it is. There is a deepness, out of daily awareness, that is fighting with life as it is! My life as it appears to me.
There is no way to just stop this. I must let it be. For as long as it is. Allow it. Honour it. Embrace it. And when it is finished it will be finished. I have no attachment to the relief that I long for. Relief from this clinging that I am, at present. I wish it to appear out of the underground of my being and be an equal part of my daily life.
"RESISTANCE!!!! I WELCOME YOU, COME FORTH, PARTAKE IN THE AWARENESS OF MY LIFE AS IT IS."
As I look out on a smokey Delhi morning I see a run down half built structure. Somehow it seems a kin to myself this morning. I cry for the incompleteness , the separation from the wholeness that I see. All that seems real is what is within the five senses of my human awareness, seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting. That is India. Assaulting all senses vigorously. That is what I love about India. And inside all the assault is a stillness beyond my knowing in America
No comments:
Post a Comment