The ancient triggers of abandenment and rejection are swirling around my thoughts and feelings. It seems as I identify more with my basic state of awareness the more intense those old afflictions are. Those old afflictions that I have done everything in my power to avoid. The story line has many chapters and is quite a large volume now after 60 years.
So I am angry, i am hurt. I want to act, hurt that person who has been the trigger for these strong disliked emotions.
An added piece of data is that I don't want to rest with these feelings, i want to hang on to that story, hone it down to a sharp point that I can poke him with and have him feel the sharp end of my perception.
So delema.................
This is the power point where I can gain some real assurance if I am committed enough and brave enough to open up and allow the situation to be what it is, to allow my thoughts and feeling to be fully what they are, without trying to fix, distract, avoid or indulge them. That is where clarity will come through and when/if an action or a spoken word needs to come forth, it will come from clarity without my involvement and then there will be the wisdom of the benifit for all, myself included.
But the place where the data meets full awareness is where the power of the situation is waiting to be released.
So I have my work cut out for me today.
I will go about my day with Adya in my ear
opening ever opening, to my true nature
So I am angry, i am hurt. I want to act, hurt that person who has been the trigger for these strong disliked emotions.
An added piece of data is that I don't want to rest with these feelings, i want to hang on to that story, hone it down to a sharp point that I can poke him with and have him feel the sharp end of my perception.
So delema.................
This is the power point where I can gain some real assurance if I am committed enough and brave enough to open up and allow the situation to be what it is, to allow my thoughts and feeling to be fully what they are, without trying to fix, distract, avoid or indulge them. That is where clarity will come through and when/if an action or a spoken word needs to come forth, it will come from clarity without my involvement and then there will be the wisdom of the benifit for all, myself included.
But the place where the data meets full awareness is where the power of the situation is waiting to be released.
So I have my work cut out for me today.
I will go about my day with Adya in my ear
opening ever opening, to my true nature
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