Sunday, February 26, 2012

an ordinary life

Well, it has been one year since  I did the 12 empowerments.  Before I started  my walk with great freedom my life was so terrifying, facing situations that seemed absolutely impossible to  resolve. I was anxious day and night. To run or to take medication was all I could think of to do. So I ran to India and did the 12 empowerments.

Now, one year later, I have found that I have an ability to learn the skills that my life requires of me to live a stable, peaceful and benificail life.  Benificial to all around me, my family, myself and my community.  I have a sence of calm and connection with myself, my loved ones and everyone and everything that just was not there in my life before.

Sometimes I get impatient that I still get distracted by the mundane ,ever rising, ever present thoughts, feelings, situations....data. 

I still have depression, disturbing thoughts and strong emotions but I have increasingly lost the need to avoid these things or the stories around them that kept them in place.  I can relax with them. And then I can just go on with my life and do or say what will be most benificial at that moment.

Life is easier this way.  I enjoy the simple, everyday things that fill each day.  And I know I could never go back to believing all the data that goes through my mind or trying to avoid the very data that makes my life human, like everyone else.

I am greatfull
and now it is time to go to sleep

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